Monday, March 28, 2011

Fear of Flying

There was a religious woman who had to do a lot of traveling for her business. Flying made her very nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her.

One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and smirk and went back to what he was doing.

After awhile, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"

The woman replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."

He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"

She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible."

He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"

The woman said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him."

"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.

"Then you can ask him," replied the woman.

Friday, March 25, 2011

A Democrat and a Republican...

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. However, I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Donald Trumped by Whoopi and the race card...

Donald Trump was on The View yesterday answering questions about a possible run for the presidency. When he mentioned that he thought Obama should show his birth certificate it was hard to hear anything with the shrieking of 4 liberal women at the same time, but Whoopi yelled that no white president has ever had to show a birth certificate. Really, that's all she has? She didn't even defend the "Certificate of Live Birth" we've all seen on the internet, maybe because she knows Obama couldn't even get a driver's license with it. Barbara Walters brought up the newspaper birth announcement. Try enrolling in school or getting a passport with that.

As far as Whoopi's claim goes, there has always been documentation and a verifiable history. Congress held a hearing when John McCain ran because he was born in Panama. When it was proven that he was born to 2  American citizens in military service he was cleared as being eligible.

Obama has spent well over a million dollars in legal fees protecting his birth certificate, school and college records, college papers, and even Harvard Law Review articles. No other president in history has been able to keep this much of his past private.

When people were trying to prove Bush was a draft dodger they were even demanding payroll records from the National Guard. If he had worked so hard at keeping school and work records private there would have been calls for impeachment.

To quote Barack Obama himself; "The only people who don't want to disclose the truth are people with something to hide."

By the way, he may be a "natural born citizen" as the Constitution demands. But I think the American public has a right to know what is worth so much money to keep secret.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Did Jonah run because he was afraid of Ninevah or because he didn't want God to save it?

I've never heard Jonah preached the way Rodney Creed at Bethany Church of Christ explained it this morning. The traditional story of Jonah brings up how evil the people of Ninevah were and how Jonah must have been afraid of being tortured and killed. But most sermons stop either at chapter 2 when Jonah repents or chapter 3 when the people of Ninevah turned from their evil ways. I've never looked at the interactions between God and Jonah after God doesn't destroy Ninevah.

Jonah actually didn't want Ninevah to be saved. He wanted God to punish them for their sins instead of showing the same compassion He had showed Jonah.

I'm struggling with this lesson because we're supposed to want everyone to repent and be saved. Running from our mandate to spread the good news and wishing automatic destruction on the "truly evil" is at least as evil, if not more so, than the ones we are condemning.

Reflecting on Jesus' parable of the prodigal son I was the son who stayed home and resented my brother every time he failed at something and came back home. I didn't think my parents should be constantly rescuing and taking him back in.

Twelve years after his death I'm realizing that I am supposed to offer people the same chances and forgiveness that God has given me. I'm working on being a better Christian and a better person, difficult as it may be.

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