Types of Undergarments

A man walked into the ladies' department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquired the man. "There is more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras," she replied. Confused, the man asked what the types were. The saleslady replied, "The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, the Presbyterian type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"

Still confused, the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"

The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple...the Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills."

Accused murderer escapes from jail in Purcell. Please read details and spread the word...

This is a message from McClain County Emergency Management. An escaped convict, arrested for triple homicide, has escaped the McClain County Jail.

Shaun Bosse escaped at ten twenty today and was last seen driving north on I-35 in a two thousand four black Pontiac Grand Am, four door, with a paper tag.

Keep your doors and vehicles locked. He will probably be looking for a replacement vehicle.

If you see a car matching this description, call nine one one

Things You'll Never Hear In A Western Movie

"I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!"

"Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."

"Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys room."

"Injuns! Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!"

"Y'know, Badlands Pete... a roaring campfire, good coffee, nice prairie breeze, just you 'n' me... what say we put on the rhinestone gowns and dance a jig or two?"

"Let's see... hardtack and pemmican... that's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches."

"You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."

"That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!"

"He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration."

"Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"

"It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge."

"HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! ...Okay, now a little to the left... Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"

Can you see the horse in this picture?

How would YOU like for a jet-black 1600 pound horse to come out of the dark toward you?

When people see my truck with the antennas and windmill on top, they ask "are you a storm chaser?" Those of us affiliated with the weather service or emergency management prefer "storm spotter." We generally stay in the same geographic area (city or county) and pick a safe vantage point to watch from rather than chasing and getting as close to the action as possible. The chasers for the TV stations take more risk and generally experience more damage to their vehicles.

It's also not just about tornadoes. Most years, lightning and floods each kill more people than tornadoes. Then there is snow, ice, and extreme heat. You might see me driving in the snow testing for safety or blocking a flooded road to keep cars from driving into deep water.

Our reports help the National Weather Service focus warnings where they are needed and tell emergency services where they might soon be needed. If the worst happens, many of us are trained in search & rescue and first aid. We can start taking care of people while waiting for professional help and then transition to support roles after it arrives.

For some it's the excitement of the chase. For me it's the excitement of being able to help people in need.

If you're interested in learning how to help your family and neighbors after a disaster, check out http://www.citizencorps.gov/cert/

PS- The big white sticker says "Service to others is the rent we pay for our space here on Earth."